Somehow i don't know what to do now.I know the truth but i choose to escape from this fact to try not to hurt her even more.Maybe it's right,i can run for now,but i can't run forever.I still have to face it one day.I thought by escaping she would forget me soon,but maybe i was wrong.Why do i still go ask her if she still got feeling for me when i know that she still does.Hais,i really feel the burden on my shoulder is getting more heavy.Feel like i am suffering a mental breakdown again.But if anything were to happen to her what i am going to do?Feel like everything is my fault.Why should i even stead with her in the first place!Damn it!ARGH!NANCY PLEASE BE OK! =(,
Today someone make me feel like i could share the burden with people too.I been carrying everybody burden on my shoulder for too long and i thought maybe i could share with people.But now i think i shouldn't.
Memories to be remember forever.Promise to be kept forever.You promise that you would try to be happy.You owe me this promise for life!No breaking!
Current Mood:Super bloody moody...
Today is like the damn happiest day in my 17 years of life!I think the happiest moment for today was after the movie!Even though what you said to me and that action you did only lasted about 5 sec,but that was really the happiest 5 sec in my life!If i can i really wish time would stop at that moment forever.Really enjoyed the movie today too.Well,there's always a next time to take photo together =).
Some idiot guy came up to me and ask if i am interested in modeling?I was like what the hell?Why the hell would you even come up to me to ask if i want to do modeling.I really wanted to ask if his eyes got problem?In front of me got so many good-looking guy he go ask me?Wah kaoz.
Couldn't find the shoe i was looking for today.Was thinking where the hell could i buy that shoe in singapore.I think i roughly decided on the 5 gift to buy for her.The problem now is money and where can i find those 5 things.
I been living for...
At 12.42 am!
I don't know why.I don't know how.I don't even know how can i stop myself for not treating you how i am treating you now.It's really isn't in my control now.Things ain't within my control and i am just letting my heart control myself just like what you told me to do.But i think i must kinda control myself more from now on...
Wah,i think something wrong with my body.I get gastric whenever i get too emotional.It hurt more then my normal gastric,3 or more times more pain!The more sad or angry i get the more it hurt!Today suddenly was very sad in lot1 and it suddenly hurts.I know the reason why i suddenly feel so sad,but i think i not going to say it out =).But was really ps at lot1 when it suddenly hurts.I think some of the people shock,my friend like wtf?I think too common for them to see me gastric =P.Hahas.Ok,but it really hurt ok!Need to laugh at me ma!
I hear a song just now when i was buying bubble tea.Some part of the lyrics is er...Well,i don't know what song is that,but those few lyrics are nice!I kinda forget the exact lyrics,but it sound like this."Baby why didn't i fight for my happiness in the first place?Why did i let you go to find your happiness when i really love you so much?Was it because i feel that i ain't fit to be with you? Whenever i see your sad face,it break my heart more then it hurt in you.Can't you love me back?"The 5 line are not linked together and it's from 2 song.Hahas.Maybe there isn't really any real happiness in this world,but is for you to create it...
I thought about lots of things today because there wasn't really much people today at work and i wasn't smsing and so i got bored.Went out to the sea and sit there to enjoy the sun?Well,it's really damn cold inside the coffee shop.After talking to my maple mom just now at msn,this is my conclusion about all the thing i think today.I think about my past,my present and my future?LOLs.
Some time i really wonder this about guys.Before you get this girl,you do whatever shit that you can think of just to win her heart.But after getting her,as days goes by you start to suddenly treat her like a piece of shit after you got her?What the hell is this?Before you stead you say you love her until want die?After stead become want kill her?For god sake,if you really love someone,shouldn't you care and treat her good even after you stead?I can't say all guys are heartless,but most of the guys are heartless.Why can they suddenly change heart so easily after steading?Who fault is it?God fault?Or man fault itself?Are guys born to be a flirt?Maybe only we ourself guys have the answer?
I think about my past.If those days i were to just not ask so much would i have quarrel with ZhuZhu?If i were not to care so much about her,i won't have even quarrel with her?If i were just to not think so much would she have change?If i didn't ask her for stead would she be unhappy now?Would she still be my ZhuZhu now?Would everything not change and i would still be her friend?Then i wouldn't have need to break with her so that she could be happy again?But at least it has all ended for her.Hope she'll be happy now.Lastly,no matter how much sorry i say to her it'll never help because i can't give her the happiness i promised to her.
My present.Nothing much really.Really happy about my own present,and looking forward to the future.
My future,i think the only future i can think is what's going to happen 2 years later and what will happen to the both of us during this 2 year period.
Woo,i bought my new phone.LG Viewty Smart GC900.Cost $500,additional $100 because my mom line is not up yet and i continue the line and so need extra $100.So i lost all my contact again and i need to get them all back 1 by 1 again!What the hell!?But well doesn't matter,who ask me so sway.
Today is a damn long day for me.Wasn't smsing.But was happy when i got my handphone.I was thinking if you'll be the first to sms me to this new phone ma,and you really did.I thought i was dreaming,but i wasn't.And there goes another first?Lols,kinda long of first...
Really wish my dream last night would come true.
COME BACK TO ME,THE OLD AHWAN!COME BACK...!lols. sound like i summoning ghost.Ok back to topic,ahwan ar,escaping isn't the problem to solving everything.Face it with courage!But don't let it affect your studies.I know you can do it!Gambateh!
Time seem to fly whenever i am with you.Some time even talking to you,time seem to fly too.Are you able to manipulate the time in my world?But today is freaking long day for me.Was it because i keep checking my handphone all day?Hais.
I miss you even when i am beside you.I think of you even when i am messaging you on the phone.Am i still who i am 9 months ago?I am kinda used to seeing your back and i don't know why.Whenever i see your back,i see so much sadness and pain that you are carrying on your shoulders.I want to help take away those sadness and pain on your shoulders.I rather be the one to carry those sadness and pain that you are carrying on you.Also i want to stand behind you and support you forever,hoping that you would be happy every single day.Hoping the one holding your hand can give you the happiness you should get.
I am buying a new handphone tomorrow.Think i will buy LG Viewty Smart.
I dream of what will happen to us in 2 years later.If that is going to happen,i think i might as well suicide now first.
Maybe Ahwan is right,let's leave everything to fate.Even though i always believe that destiny will always be in my hand,and i can control it.But i really don't wish to fight for anything now,i just left everything to my own fate.
Some time i really feel unfair of what will happen 2 years later.Would everything change?Would you change?Would i change?Or would everything just turn to my worst nightmare?Or would the dream i dream about every night come true?I really don't know about anything that would happen in 2 years time.But since you said 2 years later then say,so let's wait till what happen 2 years later.Maybe things will just stay as it's now?
I think that everything will change once school reopen.I think i need a break from my own group.I think i am going to go alone for awhile once school reopen.I am sick of everything that has been happening around.But i need time away from everything in school.Maybe even time away from my own self?Time for a little tiny bit of changes in my life.But would a little bit cause a drastic change in the future?But i think this would be better for me.
I try so hard so hard to not try to think about 2 years later.But i think i couldn't and it's driving me mad?But i still have to control myself and my emotion.
It's 12am in the morning.Well consider morning ba?Since it's the next day liao.I am still waiting for sms.I don't know why and how did i get so used to this.Seem to be getting more and more used to this day by day.As each day goes by,it just seem to get worst.
I really think i am a idiot today.A complete total idiot.Maybe this has really gone to far.Maybe further then i expected it would go and i think it's time to end.No matter how much i hope for,i know that at time dream will never come true.It should be left for me to dream about it at night and not for me to think about it all day long.I really think it has gone too far and it's really the time for me to leave...
Not sure what phone to buy.Had so much things in my mind.
When you love someone,no matter how much you done for the other person,you will still feel that it isn't enough and you tend to do more thing.But no matter how much you do,you will never feel it's enough.
Between Friends and Love.I think i have already made my choice.I choose Friends!
Why do i suddenly felt so sad when i said those thing?Ain't those the truth i want to tell you and to do?But why do i still feel so sad inside my heart?Isit because i am highly possible going to choose the other path?
No matter if you are holding the hand of the one you loved or not holding their hand.Be it giving happiness or giving blessing to the one you loved.Be it you are with the one you love or the one you love being with other.This all doesn't matter,as long as you are able to see them happy,that's what that really matter in life!I think what really matter in life isn't really about being with the one you love,but the most important thing is that you are able to see their smile on their face.Seeing that he/she is able to find their happiness in life.So what if you don't get to be with them?Does love really mean that you have to be with the person you love?Some time being together will only cause them pain.So why not choose to see them happy rather then be the one to hurt them?
I think i don't have to dwell on this problem anymore.I don't know why but today when you suddenly sms me saying that am i serious about forgetting you,i don't know why i actually said those thing suddenly without even thinking and i just send without even thinking!Damn,don't know what i was thinking at that point of time.But it just confirm my own decision that i am not bluffing myself by deciding on that thing,but i am serious about it!
My handphone spoilt!Argh!If not i don't think i will on com for the rest of this week.Damn it,need to save money from work to buy new handphone.Wonder what handphone i will buy this time?Touch phone maybe?Or not?Because i think i will message like a snail if i were to use touch phone?Won't be as fast as i message like i normally do.But what to do?Hais,stupid!Message halfway only suddenly screen blank.Sians,i can hear my message tone,but i just can't on back my handphone.I almost wanted to smash my handphone into pieces.
I feel like somehow i am blogging more than once in a day sometime.Maybe it's because my thoughts is running around my mind too much that i need to spit it out somewhere?Hmm,my blog is my rubbish bin for my own thought!Hahas,but i know there're still thing i can't blog about.
To Ahwan:Sorry that day sms you halfway i didn't reply,cause too tired le.About what you said that day.Sometime being strong don't mean that the strength must come from yourself only.Why must you be hanging on so painfully over thing?It's doesn't mean that you don't say thing out and bottle everything by yourself and act as if nothing happen means you are strong!It'll only show that you are more weak!It doesn't mean that you can't be strong even when you tell people how you feel!Admit that you are weak don't mean that you really are weak.Admit that you are weak mean that you are strong!Because you dare to admit that you are weak and dare to face your own problem to people,this prove that you really are strong on the inside!Not just acting strong as your cover only!Even if you yourself alone is weak,doesn't mean that you can't get strength from friends?You think your friends are there for nothing?Lijuan isn't there for nothing?Likewise for the others.They're your friend because of a reason!And friends stick by each other no matter what.You think this 4 to 5 years of friendship are nothing?Don't think so bah?Where's the strong AhWan gone to?Even though i can't make a different for you to see,but trust me hope is always there!You will see the guiding light to lead you out some day.So are you going to give up now?I thought the ahwan i know isn't someone who give up in thing so easily d?Like i say,if you ever need a listening ear,i will always be here.If you need a shoulder for you to cry,i will find bengjie or i will bring my bag down=P.Hahas.OK?Stay strong!
Ah,headache.Hangover.Sians today couldn't go to work due to headache.But thinking back about yesterday,i didn't know why did i drank so fast.Maybe it's because the 3 song that the band was singing was the song that was played that night?Memories flowing through like a river!Some time i really think that my memories are funny at time.To people good memories to them are happy.But why to me,all the happy memories cause me so much sadness and pain?My mind is so full of question i want to ask yesterday.Why this,why that!Why!Why!Why!Hate this feeling.I thought thing would be fine after that,but don't think so.Why do i still carry so much emotion inside of me.I thought i could get rid of all emotion inside of me,i rather be a empty shell without any emotion.Hais,really not sure about anything anymore.Maybe i has really change after i come to ite,maybe i am starting to care about thing around me unlike in my secondary.I still hate thing about me.I couldn't help anyone.I could only listen to them,but when i want to help,i couldn't help much.Hate it,and i really hate it so much!
I decided on things and i think i am going to stick with that choice.I won't do anything else,going to stay this well as we are now,for now and forever.
Don't feel like online msn or even on my computer this few days.Just wish i could settle my own mind and sadness?My mind won't be back into my normal state for the next week at least...Anything still can sms me,i will reply.
Am i going to regret this decision?Why do i still feel confuse...Hais,won't be blogging till next week when i am back to normal bah...
I suddenly remember a tv show i watched yesterday before going out.It's about a teen who like basketball very much.But because of an injury and some problem with his friend he decided to quit basketball and forget his dream on becoming a well respected baller in the world of basketball.But he got addicted to gaming after the injury.But he got a good father who care for him.He remind him of what he's dream was,and how he worked hard for that dream.In the end,he got back to his world of basketball.
This guy quite same as me.Except for i don't have a family that support my play basketball.I really admire him for having such a good father for supporting him.I too forget what my dream was when i was young.I wanted people to respect me in the world of basketball.But now this dream is gone and i don't think i am going to find back the motivation to train in basketball again.But i still must thanks you for supporting me to go back to my world of basketball.But i don't think i can do it so soon...Thanks for everything too.
Think i already made a decision and i think i am not going to change my mind.But i am still unsure if i have made the right choice?But at least i know that this choice isn't going to hurt you in anyway and i won't break my promise to you that i will stay by you no matter what.
Don't know why the hell did i say those thing yesterday.Hais,when i already decided on things already why must i still have hope about anything?I know that right from the starting everything about this is all wrong,but i don't know why suddenly i am unable to control myself as days goes by.Why should i even have any hope about it?When i know that i am not worthy of being with you?Time to perish that thought forever...
Maybe it's time to leave?But i just can't do it...
Currently feeling: EMO~
Having a wedding dinner tonight.Going to be bored to death.
Hmm,i should think about this thing myself and not asking you...Going to hide in my room and think till until i go wedding dinner bah...
你的太度決定你的夢想.
Kinda think that this words are true.Your attitude makes so much different in your life.
Even since i met you,i been doing so many thing i never done before.So many first time created from you.All this are memories are memories that i would not trade anything for.No matter how many years has past,all this memories will still be with me till the very end of my life.
Really very happy today.Thanks for letting me treat once again =P.Kinda looking forward to the chance to go out with you again.Hahas,well seeing that you are happy,make me feel happy too.=)
Good Food.Good Night View.And most importantly,A Pretty Lady Dining With Me =P.Hahas.
Really really looking forward to the outing tomorrow.Hoping tomorrow will come earlier.
Sometime a dream should just remain as a dream.I really shouldn't get my hope too high and cause everybody pain.Let's just let fate decide what will happen next.
Back from the pool game and here to blog =).Really happy today.Played for like 3hours+.I don't know how long i hasn't went to play pool.Well actually not that long,just joking hahas.But today we have someone new who's playing with us.my sis peixin!=D.Hmm,not sure what to blog.Thought and feeling for today are secret =).Ohya,sis need to went off early cause she need to meet friend at 5pm.Well,DeyNey and WeiNeng was having the last game anyway.Defending champion for today,kinda forget who won the last round.Think is DeyNey.Wasn't in a good form today,quite suck in playing pool today.So after sis leave awhile later they finish the game and we left too.Went to West Mall and walk around aimlessly!Well,kinda not sure what to do also?
It's like WOW.I spend so much money today?Spend over $140 in one day sia!But i think the happiest thing that happen today was while playing pool bah?=D.
Don't feel sad anymore.
Happy-Go-Lucky.It's like everybody just think that i am that kind of person.A person who don't care about everything and just treat life as a game.But could i really be that kind of person?I seriously don't know now.In the past i just treat everything as nothing and nothing as all.Treat life as a game,my own life as a shit.But everything seem to change since i came to ITE?I am starting to see changes in myself bit by bit,day by day.The changes seem to start since we starting the course at April.Or was it because of her?Wondering..
Freak tired.Yesterday watch TV at sofa until fall asleep on sofa.Ha,funny.But well,i don't know how long never sleep at the sofa le,my second bed.Sorry for not replying your sms last night.Too tired le bah.
Later gonna go out to play pool.Going out with WeiNeng,DeyNey and PeiXin~Well,i am really looking forward to this day!Finally could relax after exam.Hmm,after exam i been working till today.Seriously i think i am lacking of so much sleep and my gaming time=P.Hahas.Hmm,wanted to watch movie after playing pool de,but not sure if me and DeyNey can sneak inside the cinema ma.Planned to watch Blood Ties.Why must it be in M18!WHY!?I was waiting for this movie too man!I want to watch 9 also,hmm.Nevermind later just try to sneak into the cinema =P.But Eng Wah,i not sure if they'll check IC ma.CCK the stupid aunties there sure check IC one.Go watch NC16 also want check my IC!!@#$%^&.Well,i have a feeling that later we will laugh like hell?Get ready to shoot each other!Muhahaha!Don't anyhow think hor,shoot as in use word to shoot hor!=P.Enjoy the outing today bah...
Dream of something nice.Kinda love that dream.That dream is going to staying inside my memories forever=P.Cause i know that dream would never come true,so just let it remain as a DREAM!=).
I feel quite confuse.Even though i decided on things and will do it,but on the other hand i still feel like making another choice in my mind.Hais.
At first i thought it was just a crush.Then it developed to become like.I thought things was much more simple then this,and it would maybe stop there?But as days goes by,i had the feeling i once encounter months ago.Has i fallen in love with you?Maybe i am sinking deeper into this.
Damn,keep spilling hot water on my hand.Freak,Freak,Freak pain...
I am not some heroes or even some special people with special ability.I am human!No matter how strong i believe in things and believe that i myself alone is enough to success in helping all the people i really care for.I always thought that the strength of believing is much more stronger then another things in this world.I kept believing that one day i could help the those people i care for.I could take away their sadness from them,i rather i was the one sad then seeing them sad.Seeing them sad hurts more then being the one sad for me.A mere human i am,only able to see them sad while i can only sit there and do nothing about it.I really hate this!
Was quite happy today,but end up being moody.Doesn't matter as long as...
Went out yesterday and was really very happy.Thanks for allowing me to treat you to dinner.Don't mind too much about it,because i was really happy that i could be able to do that.
Am i telling the truth or just telling myself?But nothing else matter first.
Went to work today and i was like a little bit sian?Maybe cause i just slept only 3 hours?My face very sleepy?Somehow i do my face until it make me look more sleepy?Then everybody seem to not recognize me?Do i change so much within the few months!?
Told the truth today,was hoping nothing will change in the coming days...
Kinda happy today...
I lost,even though i don't wish to admit this fact,but i lost both the matches.I didn't lose 1 or 2 point.I lost over 20+ point.Damn It!It's because of that reason?Doesn't matter.
Thanks Sis for coming to the match.I really appreciate it.Even though you didn't stayed through the match,but i still happy you came,thanks.Sorry if i cause you to be late...
Kinda moody now,hate the lost i encounter today.Don't feel like talking much.
Hmm,i have a bad feeling about today match.Don't know why,but somehow i think that i gonna get injure in the match today.Hahas,well even if injure also nothing.Kinda used to injury in basketball.CAREBEAR,first opponent for the match.Wondering if it's the same carebear in the M1 match?If it's then i think i gotta play cheat!Hahas,joking.Well,losing doesn't matter much now then in the past ba.
Hahas.Today match sis is going!Lols,kinda stupid,i also don't know why i asked her to go in the first place?Though i know i am going to lose,but i still asked her to go.Hmm,just wondering...Nah,not going to even get into semi-final d =).
Somehow i don't know where did i get the confidence yesterday to even think i would defeat carebear?Does it come from you?Or You?Or You?Whoever it's that given me such confidence i am grateful to you,because it mean lots of me.
The further i am from the start,also means the closer i am to the end.To my doom,but i don't regret every single bit of this.Because i am standing on the quicksand and sinking to the bottom faster and faster as the time passes.
Tomorrow match.First match is against Carebear.Kinda heard of this team before.But i am not sure if it's the same carebear team.Second match is against a unknown team which i never heard before.XYZ.Wondering how skilled are they?Even though i know that Ting Wei is going to win the competition but well just feel like playing it.I was hoping to try get into semi-final and meet Ting Wei team prestige.
Went to Basketball Association of Singapore today for the talk about tomorrow rule and also collect our item.Got a bag and a shirt.I think jersey are getting it tomorrow?Hahas.
I wish you were there,but i know that i am just dreaming.
Some time people greatest strength come from other people.The strength of believing is much more stronger then the strength of oneself.If one strength is not strong enough then why not let the strength of believe,the strength of other people who's willing to help you and also the friend of your friends and family who'll also supporting you.Why should you even try to give up and escape from the problem?No point in doing so,because you'll only be more and more painful in the situation rather then being back to normal.The truth sucks,it was never cool.But it doesn't means that it'll never be good one days?True friends are all around you to help you and support you from behind the back,not to drag you down to hell.Though time may be able to heal most of the wound,but there's always be one or more wound which can't be heal by time,and if you are not going to close back that wound it's just going to stay with you forever.So why not just walk out of the pity shadow of pain to the path of happiness?Everything will be better one day.One day of pain doesn't mean forever of pain.Tears are meant for people who are worthy of you shedding and not for people who doesn't show any sign of concern for you.Love is a kind of stupid game to play.You either get hurt or be hurt.But it doesn't means that this game will never have a good ending?In the end of the end one day,you'll find the best reward that you were always finding.Someone who truly love you and accept you for who you are and treasure you because you're the most important things in the world to him/her.So why should you care for those who are still playing the game and not find someone who has finished the game and is waiting for you at the end point.But it also doesn't means that during the time whereby you're are still walking in the game and you got hurt and just decided to stand at that point and never want to move again.In life there are many stones on the way.Pebbles,rocks,maybe even a mountain of rocks blocking you way in life.But that doesn't mean the end of the world.One way or another,even if it's a mountain of rocks,step by step,day by day i know that you would be able to climb over the mountain and carry on walking down the path of life.At time maybe you might feel that you're had the worst day in your life.But comparing to other people,for every little happiness that they get,but to them even a little happiness mean hell lot to them.The pain that you undergo is not there for no reason.The mistake of the past is the teacher of the present.Whether or not you listen to your own teacher teaching is up to you,but the best teacher in history is your own mistake in the past.No teacher in the world of history has ever won the fight with mistake.Mistake make you stronger,every fall make you stronger,every tears make you realized something meaningful.This 3 factor is enough for you to grow stronger by yourself.If you still feel that you're weak,there's always be friends at your back pushing you forwards.Friends that don't abandon you when you're in need.True friends are people that will only say the bad things about you.Because they really care for you and want you to realized your own mistake.There's also friends that might not show you much care or concerned because they are not good with words and are afraid that saying things which would make you more sad.There are friends everywhere in your life.Each friend represent one little bit of strength,and with that little bits of strength,you would be able to gather enough strength from every friends and become stronger.So never solely depend on your own strength sometime,because we ain't invisible.We are fated to be friends for a reason.Fate may make a joke out of you.Everything in life is a test give you by fate.Pass the test and you'll be better the next time.Every drop of tears you shed is every pain you forsake.
Ahh,my heads hurts.One shot hope i could help 2 person.Sorry for not being able to say much thing to help yesterday.I didn't slept the day before and still went for my exam,my brain auto shut off yesterday afternoon after the exam.
Freaking long post.Sorry people,slowly take your time to read =).
HAIS!Damn it man!Man!Why must i can't sleep yesterday night!?Why can't i think of anything to help at this point of time!?Why can't my brain works when i needed it to!DAMN IT MAN!FUCK HELL.! ARGH!
It's 2.49am in the morning and i am here to blog.Only because of one reason...I CAN'T SLEEP!Hmm,last time when i was having N lvl English also can't sleep.Hahas,and i even did stupid thing.Well,use this chance to study...Hahas.
My world seem to be clashing down bits by bits again...
Today woke up quite early.Hm,don't know why,but didn't slept much yesterday,hahas.I slept at 6am in the morning and woke at 8am,lols.Wanted to go school but no one going to school with me,sadden.So just went to study with WeiNeng.Go lot1 but in the end went to eat breakfast first.Hahas.After that went to Beng house void deck study,cause there got mama shop!Hahas,more easy to buy water.Hahas,actually i was just thinking of taking back my platinum.1year of apart with it,i not sure if i have the courage to take it back ma.Saw Beng and his father going to see doctor.Hahas.After that me and WeiNeng revise by asking me question?Good way to revise cause i don't need to write.Hahas.Saw my beloved AhWan and YeeCheng.Hahas.Was talking about stupid thing and crapping.Then went to meet EweHin to give him $40 for my Converse 3 on 3 match.Wow,yesterday i just finally decided to go back to basketball,today he ask me join 3 on 3 converse match?Fated?Hahas.But it's at causeway point and this friday,lucky is friday cause holiday liao.Hm,TingWei is in the competition too.Wondering how many match we can win?Hope can at least in final?Ok i am dreaming about it,hahas.But i wonder if we could even get to final ma?If we really got into final,i know who the opponent will be,TingWei =).I want to win him in a fair fight,though i know i can never win him now.Continue dreaming bah!Hahas.
WooHoo,i actually fall into a drain!Zai man!
I think that my guess seem to be correct.Should i do it or should i not do it?
There are time whereby we need to live and let go?Even though i know the truth very well in my heart but i still wish that it weren't true.But some time it just seem so real that i feel that it's starting to become a dream to me.Even though it's really just a dream to me,i just wish that i would forever never wake from this dream ever again.Because reality is just too cruel at time.But no matter what happen,i can stay dreaming about this forever,i still have to face the truth one day.Just wish that seeing you happy is the greatest happiness that i could ever feel =).
Hm,i feel glad that everything is over.Sis is finally getting back on her feet day by day.Even though it's just the starting but this doesn't mean it'll be the end too.Everything will be better as time goes by.And of cos,i'll always,forever stand by your side supporting you =D.
I am starting to get confuse to my own problem.My mind suddenly went blank for a moment when i was thinking about it.
Hahas.Went to sis blog just now and saw the quiz so i just do for fun.And i got this.
| What is your True Fear? Your Result: Being Alone While you may act like you don't care on the outside, on the inside your biggest fear is being alone. You can be quite shy and reserved. You feel like a lot of times people don't really see the real you. You're afraid that no one will really truly love you, and that you will be alone for the rest of your life. On the inside you are great person, so just remember that and don't let your shy nature get the best of you! If you don't want to be a lone then you need to make an effort to be with someone. Show the people that you care about that you really love them, and chances are someone will always be there, even if you think they won't. | |
| Death | |
| Losing Someone | |
| Commitment | |
| Disappointment | |
| Where Your life is Going | |
| Looked down on | |
| What is your True Fear? Quiz Created on GoToQuiz | |
Hmm,i didn't know i could act so well that i don't mind being alone?OH WOW!I had been alone for like don't know how many freaking long years that maybe i am getting used to it already?Of cos people don't see the real me at time because i am hiding all the time.Maybe it's a excuses to hide from my own past,but maybe it's time to find my own self back?Oh,i didn't know i was a great person inside!Ha!Ha!Ha!Show the people that you care about that you love them?I thought you just said i am shy?So where got courage to tell them i love them?Weird.Hahas.Let's see how bah,as time goes by maybe i might change?
Some time when things seem hard for you or it seem impossible to be done.That's all just fake.Nothing in this world is impossible to be done.Some time even forgetting one person seem hard.But it isn't real,the fact is that your mind just don't wish to forget this one person because he's just too important to you now.You just need that person to be by your side that's why you can't really forget that person in such a short period of time.When that one person seem important to you already,he's now gone,maybe it's just that you can't seem to accept the fact that he's gone yourself.Take some time off everything in your own mind.Relax in the sea,tell someone about the thing in your mind,it will help a little.A person strength may not be enough at time.But why depend solely on your own strength when you have every behind you,supporting you?Friends aren't there for show only,friends are there to help,to share your problem and also to support you to the end no matter what choice you made!Why force yourself?Let time be the best cure in life...
>Feel Weak,Hate The Feeling.<
Wah lau eh today.I go cut hair with DeyNey.Went to the place WeiNeng told us about which only cost $3.80 for each haircut.Freaking hell man!I finally released that cheap thing some time don't come in good quantity.I told the auntie there.I want cut spike on top!MY TOP CUT SPIKE!That stupid auntie keep arguing with me.In the end she never cut my top spike!TMD!!@#$%^&*Fine!Fine!Good,YOU GOOD auntie!So after that we walk to bukit batok CSC.Want to play pool.We thought that could wear school Uniform inside.So we went there,wah sians lo,in the end can't play pool.Wasted trip man!So took 188 home,sians lo.Hais!!STUDY!STUDY!
My basket baller spirit seem to be awakening soon.Should i or should i not let it awaken?Don't think i have the courage to take up my platinum after i abandon it.
Hope everything can finally be back to normal after all those things that happen.The sun is starting to come out bringing all the lost smile back to their face =).
Yesterday i saw weineng bring headphone,i just remember that i bought a headphone last year and haven't open it yet!Hahas,was waiting for my earpiece to spoilt and put inside my drawer until i forgotten all about it.Lmao.
Hmm,don't really feel like going school today.Still quite moody about that thing that i just know from her.Wonder what could i do to help her.How can their 7years friendship be so easily broken over a guy?Don't know who am i going to side this time when both are my 7 year friend too.
Someone told me to find back my own self yesterday night!Hahas.Okies lah,will try.Promise you la.
Hmm,DESTIINY.Many people know this nick of my.I use it in game and other thing.But there's only one people in this world that know the true meaning behind this word.The true feeling i hide in the word.Also the story of ZhuZhu and WuGui will always be my precious memories and my greatest regret in life.
>030709<
>The Day I'll Always Remember,Destiiny.<
Lost control over my emotion today.Shit.
>Trying To Get Rid Of Useless Emotion.<
>Destiiny Ben.<
HAIS,i don't know what the hell happened to me yesterday night.But i been moody since yesterday night.Yesterday night moody,today morning wake up also quite moody.What's happening?My emotion seem to be unstable today.Just wish could stable down by tomorrow.HOPE SO...
>Weak Destiiny Ben<