Bla. Bla. Bla. What to say? What to do? What to think? What not to think? What not to do? What not to say? All this are crap to me suddenly. Playing basketball in the rain just now. Miss the days i do that during secondary. No matter what the CC still carry so much memories.
Just now some one by the name of WANYEE called me just to ask for my blog link again! Wa sadden,2nd time called me to ask for my blog link. But still when i heard her voice,i feel like she's much better now. Still remember the night i meet her under my blog. Even her voice i can sense sadness inside.
Feel really tired about so much things,feel like escaping. But i know i ain't going to just give up yet.
Tomorrow is Lijuan birthday. The one and only MEI i had. I actually forgotten to buy her a present this year. Well,just wish her a happy birthday tomorrow ba.
To someone : Sorry for being so emo this morning. But i am really fine don't worry ya? =). I promise you when everything is settle,i will tell you everything. But not now okie?
To Ahwan! : PLEASE REMEMBER MY BLOGLINK AR! Hahas,even though i don't mind you calling me but still quite mafan for you lo. And jiayouus for your O level!=).
Sometime i really wonder about GUY!Some people really don't think about their words and say it out?AH Fuck IT!
Cheer Up! Alright?
Suddenly i don't feel like coming home.I...Ah forget it.
Just about anything will get your temper going right now. This is in my daily horoscope,and i feel somehow it's true?
The things that you don't do yesterday will be the regret you face today.
Your Worst Nightmare Has Just Came True! THE EVIL ME!
What if. What if. What if. Why must there be a what if? Can't it be just Yes It's Real? Hahas,but at least the what if can also make me quite happy,no should be very happy. I think that's enough ba.
Been listening to the same song over and over again for quite some time. I really love the part,"There's Just Too Much That Time Can't Erase".
'Love comforteth like sunshine after rain.' Hmm,what the hell it mean? I only know everything will be better once the rain is gone and come the sunshine! But still suddenly i feel like everything is getting better for me? I just hope it would continue to get better by the days.
"We must understand that love leaves for a reason, but never without a lesson." Hmm,what does this really means?Got this from doing the love quote in Facebook.Understand that love leaves for a reason.I think i understand this part.But without a lesson?HMM!
The event of yesterday is the happy memories of today.Yesterday outing with you has become another part of the little happy memories i had with you inside of me =).
Fun,Laughter and Peaceful night!Most important i am with YOU! =D.Enjoyed so much.
Rest Rest Rest ok? =).
Couldn't sleep all night.And when i was blogging this it was just nice 4.44am!And i suddenly think of you. -,-"
Thoughts running around my mind.Pain flowing through my body and killing me.And yet again i feel like escaping...
I'm so tired of being here
Suppressed by all my childish fears
And if you have to leave
I wish that you would just leave
'Cause your presence still lingers here
And it won't leave me alone
These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase
When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have
All of me
You used to captivate me
By your resonating light
Now I'm bound by the life you left behind
Your face it haunts
My once pleasant dreams
Your voice it chased away
All the sanity in me
These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase
When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have
All of me
I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're
Been listening to this song all night.There's a video about this song in youtube.Was really touching.About X-Men Wolverine
To AhWan:Ahwan i know i told you not to trust in me,because i ain't a guy who can be trusted.How can i ask you to even trust me when i don't even trust in myself?But i know one things is you always had been by my side when i am moody this whole year.But you never really tell me what happen everytime -.-" Be brave and face your ex!Weather you still love him or not,or even he still love you or not.Be brave to face up to your feeling!And 4 years of friendship isn't something so easily broken.I believe that you and Cherlyn will get back to how you're in the past.So be brave and face it alright?Where's the superwoman gone to?Good luck for your O level!=).
Last night i was at CCK mac almost all night with ahwan them.Talk.Talk.Talk.Chat.Chat.Chat all night.Okie not all night,but for 2hours ba?Mom keep kpkb ask me go home eat dinner.Went home then went down at about 11pm to meet ahwan again.Meet her alone to chat chat till about 12am.It's like not long that i didn't sms her much,she like suddenly so sad.Hais,it's almost like...Hais,don't know what to say.It's like so much things has happen within such a short period of time?Lijuan and that stupid QuanZhong also don't know what happen.What crap is happening to the people around me?Bad year for everybody?Even ..... HAIS.Kinda moody of all those things happening.Even to me.
Feel like a barrier between us out of a sudden...hais.
My Horoscope:Aggressive. Freak in bed. Rare to find! Loves being in long relationships. Likes to give a good fight for what they want. Extremely outgoing. Sexy as ........ Loves to help people in times of need. Outstanding kisser. Very funny. Awesome personality. Stubborn. Sexual as ......... Most caring person you will ever meet! One of a kind. Not one to #### with. Are the most sexiest people on earth!
Really LOLs!I think in those,stubborn YES!Very funny?I don't know self-high when i moody consider funny?Hahas.Think the rest no ba...Most caring person you'll ever meet?Like real.Likes to give a good fight for what they want?Errr,i wish i could do that but i given up.Hahas,knocked down one time by one time,too tired to continue le.
Tired today.Watched the AHS inter-school performance during lunch.Was really a good performance.Hahas.
Decided to not to go for lesson tomorrow.Really need a break for a day.
Just now heard this song on TV.Wa,suddenly so many thought running through my mind.
<我这样爱你到底对不对>
这问题问得我自已好累
我宁愿流泪 也不愿意后悔
可是我害怕终于还是要心碎
从未曾尝过真情的滋味
从未曾真正想伤害谁
如果是我把爱情想得太美
我应不应该放弃这最后的机会
如果真心付出是一种罪
我怀疑除了自已我还能够相信谁
如果失去真爱人们都无所谓
那么我又哪来那么多伤悲
如果真心付出是一种罪
我怀疑除了自已我还能相信谁
如果失去真爱人们都无所谓
那么我的心情又有谁能体会
Those word in bold really touch my heart~Hahas,no lah,somehow i feel like this song really say out how i am feeling now?
So i can say now is i owe DeyNey $120.LOLs?Okie but the present he helped me buy was really beautiful.But i really wish she would like it too.Cost $100 for that thing.He said it was imported from korean.
24/11 is coming.ZhuZhu birthday is coming soon.Hais...Should i sent her a present?
I think i been dreaming too much and it's really time to really accept the hard cold truth.Once And For All!
The dream so close yet so far.Memories left to be unspoken of.Dream left to be shatter time and time again.Tears meant to be dropped thinking back of the past.The past whereby i hold all my hope so tightly in my hand.The present where all hope and dream all gone like it has never been my all along.Future so dark that i can't even see if my hope is still by my side or by the side of another person future.Heartbreak.Mend back easy said then done.The hardest things on earth that is the hardest to mend is your broken heart.The most painful injury is in the heart.If everything start from the heart,should i shut myself once again like i did 6years back?
>MEMORIES LEFT TO BE KEPT INSIDE AND UNSPOKEN OF FOREVER<
Went to see doctor in the morning...Time is limited?
Worst day?Best day?Or just another day?LOLs.I don't know about today.Hmm.
Lab Maths.Still quite easy to cope.Well let hope it'll continue this way?Let's work hard together!=D.
Weird day,during lunch suddenly keep saying crap for no reason.Am i just doing that to hide my current emotion?Hmm.
What am i thinking yesterday?What am i doing yesterday?I think i lost control over everything about me last night?Sorry for saying those thing last night...
Thanks for everything about yesterday.Enjoyed myself alot =).
Everything will be better tomorrow.Trust in me when i say this.
Tired + Tired + Tired.Keep listening to Heart Heart Heartbreak by boys like girls today.Hmm,my emotion is quite crazy today.
Everything just doesn't seem to be the same.Why is everything feel like it's different?Hais.Just wish everything could be back to how it was some time ago...The happy memories that i lived in seem to be all gone.
Skip GM practical today.But it doesn't mean i am not working hard in study!So let's all work hard together =).Because i never give up the things i like easily.And it also mean....=)
Hmm,is my headache a illness?Am i dying?It really seem like death came knocking in my door.Hahas.Who care.LOLs.
Hope everything i talked about at city hall would come true one day.Even if it's going to take 2 years,3 years.I want to make it happen.
Getting back on my feet seem harder then i expected...
When i say i give up means i am escaping from the problem.So i am escaping from the problem?...
Lost it.Everything in my world came crashing down.And there's only one thing left to say.I have fallen from the sky and never wanting to stand again.
>Benjamin fall and died during 4am<
>REST IN PEACE<
Why am i doing!?I don't even understand what the hell am i running away from.Sorry.
Hurts so much in school.I think too highly of myself that i could handle it ba.Headache!
Went to city hall to find the present for the most important person in my life!Took taxi down,cost $18.80.Like wow,and i didn't even found the thing i am looking for.Hais,so went to eat.Whole day hasn't eaten anything,was hungry le.
Can i get that image out of my head?I really feel so weak?Just because of the 3 pain and i feel so painful?Really can't breakdown,i must get back up!
It's getting worst day by day and i don't know how much time i am left with.How long more can i hold back it?
I kept having image of that.I promised you i won't think too much,but the images just keep rushing into my mind.It's really driving me to my limit.Don't know if i can hold on much longer ma.Somehow i feel like there's a wall in between us after all the things that happen.
I yearns for you to be by my side during the pain,but i know i can't tell you.I have to act like i am fine while talking.Not going to drag you down!
TOMORROW SCHOOL REOPEN!Can't wait.This is the first time i ever wish i could go back school.Hmm.Wonder...Thinking of going down to city hall to buy "THAT" tomorrow.
Your hand is just right beside me,by i can't seem to grab hold of it.I am only a step behind of you,but no matter how much i run towards your direction i still can't reach you.You are so close by myself,yet i feel that you are so fast away from me to reach.No matter how many years i use to chase behind of you,i can never reach you.This is my fate!
My head feel like it's going to burst soon.Why do i miss you so much today?-.-"
It's been all night after that happen.But somehow i still can't stop the sadness from devouring me.By it's not that i am not trying,but maybe it's just too strong for me to handle,or i am too weak to handle it.But i have to buck up.I can't let u suffer with me.It's my choice and my fate.
Tomorrow is up for me to create.Yesterday pain is today best teacher.Today best teacher is tomorrow best lesson.
Deeply tearing inside of me,but trying hard to not show it infront of you.Because i believe everything will be fine when i see your smile.
Somehow i think i couldn't stop myself from thinking about yesterday.Even though i know that it has happen but i still couldn't stop myself from feeling moody.The pain is back!My head feel like it's going to burst.Hais,gotta stop thinking.I have to be fine,cause i promised you.
Thanks and Sorry for everything that happen yesterday.
WoW.My hand shaking again.SHIT!
I hope things will get better for you.If anything bad were to happen.I rather it's all on me.I really wish i was the one to carry all your sadness,so that only good things and happy things will happen on you.No more SADNESS in your life! =).
Somehow i don't know if i should or should not listen to you yesterday or not.But well,time is still long.Let time decide then.
I am starting to be able to press down that pain.At least when i am chatting with you i am able to press down the emotion.Hais,hope i could continue to do so in the future.
Hais,was thinking about how to help yesterday on my chair.Thinking all night and didn't even realized that it was already morning.Really don't know what the hell is happening to me.But somehow it really hurts so much time and time again when i know that you're sad but couldn't do anything to help.Really hate it.Really don't know how much of this i could handle anymore.I feel like i am breaking down faster then i expected.Not sure if i even could last till the end of the year ma.
Current Mood : In a pain that no words can explain.
There's so much things i had in mind which i know i couldn't say it out to you.And i am not going to do so too.
Couldn't sleep until something happen last night.Lols.Feel like a idiot.Was so freaking tired,but just couldn't sleep until 1am when that...Kinda weird.But i think i realized lots of things yesterday.Things that i thought wouldn't happen had happen...
Going out to find that "thing".Hope i can find it.
Really really trying my best to limit the words and thing i should or shouldn't say to you or do with you.But i still can't.Still going to try my best to do so.
If i say nothing changes i think i am bluffing myself.Because i am starting to change myself already.
Couldn't really sleep the whole night yesterday.Kinda in more pain yesterday night then usual.Maybe it's because of that reason.But it's my choice,no matter how much it going to hurts i am still going to continue walking on,then choose to see you sad and suffer alone.
Need to think of a solution to help.And i need it FAST!
Feel like everything seem to be crashing down fast.HAIS.Tomorrow going out to find the present!Not sure if i ever going to find that one or not.
Today never go work.Don't feel like it,suddenly just no mood to go work or do anything today.
I don't know now the pain i am feeling inside of me is the pain of waiting or self-torture anymore.Or maybe it's both?That's why the pain i am feeling is twice the pain i felt in the past.It's killing me bit by bit.
This is driving me nuts.I really need to decide to walk left or walk right!I can't struck in the middle forever!It's driving me nuts day by day!
Everybody today keep asking me to cheer up or ask if i am okie.What's wrong with me!?Can't i be sad for sometime too?Even the happy-go-lucky me have time whereby i can't hide my sadness too ok?
Sorry ahwan.Really no mood to chat with you today.Chat another day.
Kinda worried about things that's happening today...I want to go down there,but something seem to be stopping me from doing so.Just hope you won't be so sad...
I think i am starting to bluff myself again.Maybe it's the best thing to do for now.
Why do i feel so sad suddenly?Maybe it's because of that reason...But it's really time for me to accept the truth no matter what.
Somehow my heart sank when i know that you actually ___ yesterday.Hurts so much.
Went out to somebody wake today,really feel so weird there.But still.....So many thoughts were running through my mind when i was inside.
Went to bugis and bought 2 shirt and a cap.LOLs.Really feel like changing myself once and for all!Starting with clothing?Attitude and my lifestyle?Everything about me i feel like changing.But only one important thing i won't change about myself.The most important person is my life will still be the same forever.
The best meeting in life is a handkerchief.It can wipe away your sweat.It will always be there whenever you need it.It can also wipe away your tears.I too wanted to be that handkerchief in your life.To wipe away your tears,taking away all the sadness in your life,leaving you with all the happiness in this world.Be there to see you finding your true happiness.After so i can be gone without a trace of any sign that i been in your life ever before.
Does FATE love playing me?But i am not going to have any hope anymore!I just want to continue the way we are now forever.
Tough Problem Don't Last Forever.But Tough People Last Forever!
My heart ache whenever that happen...Hais.Ache.
My hand is bloody hurting me.Both hand is injure and i can't lift "heavy" things.Damn it,
Feel like everything is fated that we shouldn't be together.No point forcing a result out of nothing.Because the result will still be NOTHING.
Very Very Emo listening to this song.If I Let You Go - WestLife
Current mood : Never Before So Sad!But still trying to force out the hahas to you...
Don't feel like blogging today.So just going to post the quiz i took in facebook.
How do you lie?
With Your Thoughts <3
You lie inside your head. Your thoughts confuse you, and you would rather be anyone else than yourself. You convince yourself of things that aren't true. You might think you are ugly, stupid, mean, or annoying, when you are actually none of those things. You constantly put yourself down and convince yourself that you don't deserve anything good. You don't hear compliments and when people give you one, you deny it. You give others the compliments you wish you could give yourself, but when you think of who you are, only the negative comes to mind. It is possible you are paranoid about what others are saying about you behind your back, or are trying to match yourself to an impossible standard. There might have been someone in your life who put you down so much you actually started to believe it. Trust me, if you think you are a bad person, you most likely aren't. Bad people think they are good, otherwise they wouldn't be as mean.
You lie because you mistake it for the truth. When others tell you positive things about yourself, you often just believe they are lying to make you feel better. In actuality, they are telling the truth and you are lying to yourself. Your weakness are the people who don't openly compliment you, but truly believe you are amazing anyway. Their compliments are along the lines of "You make me feel happy" or "You are my everything." A lot of people find these cheesy, but these are the compliments that allow you to feel good a...
Er...What the?Why do some part of the thoughts somehow is what i am thinking?Well in fact i am not sure if it's true or not.